two chicks write some LARPs

and make a half-assed website about it

stuff we've written - stuff we're running - stuff we're planning - stuff about us


10/21/18: An update! A relatively timely one at that. There's some new runs of stuff on the stuff we're running page. And that's pretty much it. Obviously Tory is derping around updating the website as productive procrastination because she needs to work on other things more.


Paranoid and Crotchety is the reportedly awesome LARP-writing team of Lily and Tory, two short fangirls. We write litform larps, prefer card-waving to stick-waving so far, and enjoy inflicting melodramatic character sheets upon hapless geeks. We like weird-ass characters, angst, bisexuality, contingency envelopes, and crotchety old men with shotguns.

Some of our games are solo projects, and some are co-written. We pretty much share a brain, though it is not made of foam. We have shared a brain for many years, and written and run games together since February, 2009. We've written about a dozen games, most of which we've run at least twice.

We've decided that our troope subtitle is officially "can't sleep, tree will eat us," but Tory's never bothered to put it on the website. Like she might redesign the logo at some point, but right now she's too busy sleeping, heedless of the arborial dangers.

If you want to keep abreast (hurr) of our upcoming runs and other shenanigans, you can sign up for our mailing list! Well. Our Google contact group for updates. Drop us a line at arkady [dot] lizard [at] gmail. No spam, very low volume, just event announcements. Whee.


There are, in general, three frequently asked questions. We will answer them here:

Tory is paranoid and Lily is crotchety. Most of the time.

We will probably re-run $GAMEYOUWANTTOPLAYIN at some point, we just might need to do some edits first, and in some cases that might, uh, take a while.

We may have $GAMEYOUWANTTORUN available to run at some point, but none of our games are currently boxable, though we keep inching closer and closer.


Lily is the slightly shorter fangirl with dark brown hair. She is Russian, and wants to play in everything. When she is not playing, she is writing, GMing, or talking, because she's a Gemini. She also has an unholy lust for bluesheets and casting questionnaires.

Tory is the slightly taller fangirl with red hair. She is (part) Danish, and often GMs. When she is not GMing, she is writing or working on the website, to make up for the fact that she doesn't talk. She is also responsible for the little booklets, cloth baggies, and generally insane production values of our games, because she's a Virgo.

Sarah, another short fangirl with pale brown hair, is a auxilliary member minion. Sarah is a good minion! She makes awesome props, and will probably GM at some point.

Other short fangirls who have helped us run games are Stephanie (A Crown of Hearts), Julia (Stars Over Atlantis), and Lisa (Folding the River.)

Some people who are not short fangirls have also helped us run games. Ray (The Other Side of the Glass) is a short fanperson. Annie (Lifeline) is a tall fangirl. Andrew (The Treaty of Pallas) is a tall fanboy. Sparrow (Folding the River) is a tall fanperson. Matt and Lise (Lifeline and A Crown of Hearts) are two people, and thus cannot be quantified, though one of them might be a short fangirl. Ian and Different Matt (A Crown of Hearts) are similarly unquantifiable, as are Jeff and Alon (A Crown of Hearts needs too many GMs.) Jaelen (Lifeline) is a Jaelen. Nat (Folding the River and A Crown of Hearts) is a saint.